Muito Velho

I feel so old. I feel my childhood slipping away. It's like trying to catch water. I feel like I'm becoming clumsier and forgetful, and I want to learn piano, but I know I'll never really be good at it cause I'm too old. I keep trying, but it gets frustrating after a while. I don't really want to grow up, even though a lot of people consider me really mature. I didn't want to go to high school and I still don't.

For some reason, whenever I do play the piano, I feel this surge of nostalgia when I feel the keys vibrate beneath my fingers. That's why I want to get good at it. I want to keep feeling that feeling. It's like a drug.

I'm gone this sunday. Don't look for me, cause you won't find me. I haven't been playing attention to my phone either.

I've been really happy this week. As soon as I realized that school was over, I felt this huge weighted burden lift off me. I've been really happy alone, without anyone bothering me. I like to let the sun into my room and open all the windows. I feel like my room is part of outside, with nature or some shit like that. Then I just write my stories, or write my songs in peace. No one can bother me. It's the happiest I've been all year.